


At the Mountain of Madness

by Ellstra



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Diary/Journal, Lovecraftian, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-06 23:18:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11046408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellstra/pseuds/Ellstra
Summary: An excerpt of the diary of Dr. Kylo Ren from a mission to assess unusual meteorological phenomena.





	At the Mountain of Madness

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this prompt](http://kyluxcantina.tumblr.com/post/161164167477/please-reblog-with-your-response-to-the-above) of Kylux cantina! I saw it while listening to some freaky music and my mind went places.

_ May, 17 _

_ The weather continues to be odd although admittedly not as odd as the acoustic phenomena we are detecting. We have set up a basic surveillance apparatus around the valley but the results have been dissatisfying so far. H. claims it must be due to wrongly set up appliances or another malfunction, since we have all heard the noises last night. I am inclined to agree.  _

_ The meteorologists predict the snow shall not melt in the foreseeable future, quite the contrary. From what I gathered from the local inhabitants with my meager knowledge of their language, they are convinced we are doomed, for an ancient evil has been awoken. They made this very clear although they were reluctant to answer my other questions, pretending not to comprehend. _

_ H. is unbearable. He keeps insisting my team set up his technology incorrectly, as if he wasn’t there with us. I think he’s frustrated because he is not used to failure but that does not make him any less of a conceited prick, if I am to be honest. _

_ May, 21 _

_ We are trapped in a cave where we were forced to retreat after a snowstorm broke out two days ago. We are all cold and the morale is about as high as a puddle. H. has isolated himself from the group, scribbling something furiously into a notebook or tinkering with some of the machinery that we managed to salvage from the storm. While it is a more agreeable arrangement than him constantly questioning my abilities to lead this expedition, his silence is unsettling, to say the least. _

_ At first, I have attempted to send out scouts to check the situation and keep a clear path to the village but it was soon deemed redundant and excessively dangerous. As of now, we have no connection with the outside world; all that comes out of the communication devices H. had provided us with is static interrupted by something I dread to think of.  _

_ The disturbing noises that have been haunting us since we first arrived are now unmistakeable. Unless the entire expedition consisting of thirty four people has a collective hallucination, which I am not going to exclude as a possibility anymore, there is something audible only to human ears but imperceptible to machinery surrounding us, and it’s only growing stronger. I do not dare speculate as to what it might be.  _

_ May, 24 _

_ We were forced to huddle together for warmth. The storm is only getting worse and if our seismographs are to be believed, there is an earthquake coming. We packed enough provisions to last a month and we started rationing it very sensibly so we should not die of hunger, and the ever falling snow can be melted into water and cleaned with iodine tablets. The omnipresent gnawing cold is always on our minds in addition to the noises that seem to have grown strong enough to thrum within the rock itself. I don’t recall what life is like without the insidious creeping sense of horror vibrating within my bones. I fear I will feel deaf when all this is over. _

_ I am now talking to H. more and more as we share a blanket and a sleeping bag. It was the logical outcome of everyone pairing themselves up and the two of us being left like the hermits we are. From what I initially dreaded came hours and hours of mentally challenging conversation in which H. didn’t let me rest. We stayed up and offered to keep watch as everyone slept, and conversed in hushed tones, trying to drown out the supernatural murmur around us. H. is an intriguing person to say the least, someone with a very firm set of personal beliefs that sometimes contradict mine, and while I am not going to give up my own teaching, I could spend hours listening to him attempting to explain himself.  _

_ Which is what I will apparently keep doing in the following days. It is not only saving me from the throes of boredom in which I am all to prone to fall, but I would be dishonest if I said it is not a welcome distraction from my fears as well. I have seen and lived many things in my life and hardly anything can disturb me but the atmosphere in this cave is indeed becoming to grow on me. It is like a mosquito during the night, constantly buzzing and keeping me awake. As long as I hear a human voice, the mosquitoes stay away. _

_ May, 28 _

_ The ground beneath our feet is arguably warm now. It has been good news a few days back when we first discovered it but it is a source of unease now. The seismographs insist that there is an earthquake coming but the data is tricky to interpret. Rationally, I try to tell myself the malfunctions are a product of some strong magnetic field in these peculiar mountains, but I only believe that when I’m holding a conversation with another scientist determined to make it sound plausible. I am almost convinced every time, until I look into their eyes and see the deep terror in them. _

_ H. is the only one who does not pretend everything is in order. I do not know if his attitude is for the better or worse, considering he is stepping on our coping mechanisms, but I am ashamed to say he is the only one capable of finding a solution to our situation at this point. Everyone else, including me, is paralysed by fear and some sort of lethargy that has taken over us. I am aware of this but I cannot help it, leaving H. without assistance. He still converses with me but I can feel he does it out of pity or concern maybe, and to keep his sanity intact. I do not know how helpful I am to him but I like to think I am. _

_ May, 30 _

_ Our imprisonment has a first victim. _

_ So far our coexistence here has been rather peaceful, almost oddly so, considering we are a group of thirty four people with diverse beliefs and intentions, trapped in a cave. Apart from the occasional dispute, we have been handling our misfortune well. Until this morning.  _

_ It started rather innocently, like any other of our previous quarrels in which one of the meteorologists accused a geologist of stealing food from the stash. I must stress that while we are not dining like kings, we are far from starving, and therefore T.’s reaction to the theft, regardless whether it was real or not, was surprising. After that, a physical fight broke out between the pair and soon there were at least six men gnarling at each other like rabid animals. The remainder of the conflict happened fast and in a blur, and at the end of it, there was L. lying on the ground with a cracked skull.  _

_ The doctor could not do anything to save poor L. despite his valiant attempts. What perturbed me however was the look of total disbelief in his eyes as he assessed the body post mortem. I am no expert but the way L.’s skull pierced his brain until we could see spatters of reddish flesh did not seem to appear naturally in a fist fight. The doctor told me he thinks L. could have been afflicted with some rare malady of the bone but I know he is simply trying to reassure himself. While I am certain he would admit he found the cause of L.’s death rather peculiar under normal circumstances, he does not allow any discussion on the topic here.  _

_ The dispute, and especially L.’s death, have knocked down what was left of our fragile ability not to give in to panic. Panic is a wonderfully complex thing and everybody reacts differently to it. Some are now in a state of paralysed fear, wrapped up in a blanket and shaking despite the warmth of the cave, some are trying to come up with an explanation and some are angry and violent. My reactions are, to my surprise, rather moderate, considering my rather impulsive character. I assume it’s the pressure of leadership forcing me to act rationally, or maybe it’s H.’s impassive stare of disgust diverted at everyone who, in his opinion, acts recklessly or dangerously. _

_ I must now admit that my feelings towards H. have changed since the beginning of the expedition. While previously I could hardly look at him without my blood boiling at the sight of him, now I seek out his company like a soothing balm. If anyone is going to get out of this horror, it will be him, of that I am certain. _

_ May, 31 _

_ The floor is now so hot we had to cover it with various blankets and other pieces of fabric to even be able to step on it. Some tried to climb onto the rocks with no success, partly due to the heat claiming the cave walls as well, partly because it gives few opportunities for purchase and even less for rest. The snow is melting so we started putting it out of the way of the clogged mouth of the cave, cooling the floor with the snow. Sleep is nearly impossible now, and the vibrations are so strong our teeth rattle if we don’t clench our jaws.  _

_ We lost another man in a foolish attempt to climb the walls. He endeavoured to reach what seemed to him like a dent in the rock and fell to his doom, breaking his neck in the process.  _

_ I did not mention this in yesterday’s entry for the concept was still too horrendous for me to grasp, but we are now trapped in a cave with two corpses. We put them under heaps of snow and take turns replacing it over them but the snow melts as fast as we throw it on them. We cannot dig a grave in the cave floor even if we wanted to. We are exhausted and some even very close to madness but we cannot stop now. The glimpse of a first natural light poured new energy into our veins. _

_ June,1 _

_ After ceaseless work, F. managed to climb out of the cave in the night. We sat in silence, two men still working on covering our dead with snow, and waited anxiously for F. to return. The ground soaked up all the snow we threw on it and we’re walking on mud now but everyone is too tired and terrified to care. The doctor said we do not have to fear cholera and other known diseases in this environment, but his grim expression hid none of his worries that we might fall prey to something even the most prestigious medical organisations have never seen.  _

_ We are forced to shout when trying to communicate, which means we don’t talk much. My mind is getting more and more prone to outbursts now that there is no one to ground me and the infuriating noise is taking the better of all of us. H. tries to reassure me with his eyes at least, and fleeting touches when he thinks no one can see. I miss the quiet hours of a week ago when we could sit with our sides pressed together and nobody could say a word. _ _ is still not back, even after a full hour. We are all pretending it’s normal, and that he’s probably gone to the village to get help, or maybe tried to find a telephone to call the university, but deep down, I do not think anyone is expecting F. to come back. I wonder how long we will lie to ourselves before we admit the world outside is just as inhospitable as our cave. _

_ June, 2 _

_ Several other men left the cave despite my orders not to do so. Despair has taken over me, and I must say I no longer care for what happens to them - or myself, for that matter. I am convinced the end of the world is nigh and even H. has lost his previous mask of indifference. We are all terrified to such an extent that something has broken within us, leaving us lethargic. We carry on shoveling the snow from the mouth of the cave, mostly out of momentum rather than as a result of conscious decision, and for the fear of the dead under the snow.  _

_ There is only fifteen of us left as I am writing this, and we are exhausted. D. M. has fallen ill and the doctor insists that it is nothing serious and he should be fine in a few days. I laughed hysterically at that, and laughed and cried ceaselessly for hours as H. held me by the shoulders. He should be fine in a few days...and then what? What for? The world that has been burned down? H.  _ _ has not left my side since my neurosis and I cannot bring myself to distance myself from him anymore. Our companions hardly spare us a glance and even if they do, they are too caught up in their misery and exhaustion. Everyone has found a friend to lean onto in this dreadful moment. _

_ I am now convinced we are going to die here. I have never considered taking my own life, but I have also never wanted to be alive more than I do now, in this hot, wet, dreary place. There is no point in talking now, and if I regret something in my life, it is missing on the conversations I could have had with H. His deep eyes are trying to talk to me even now, but I am incapable of expressing anything more complicated than ‘I love you’ and ‘I am terrified.’ He holds my hand and links our fingers, and at least I know that he understands. _

_ June, 3 _

_ The end is here. I woke up before sunlight feeling like the drumming of the ground grew stronger. H. was already on his feet, staring wide-eyed at the other side of the cave. At a fissure in the ground that seemed to be getting bigger as we watched it. _

_ H. looked at me for a brief second and then grabbed my hand, pulling me towards the mouth of the cave. We ran for a while, until we were forced to stop by his asthma. He bent over and breathed as I rubbed soothing circles on his back. Several of the men ran with us, and they discuss possible directions we could go. There is snow everywhere in sight, massive discoloured heaps of it as it is very obviously melting. This was a quiet area even before, but there is nothing now, not a hint of a village. _

_ I am scribbling this down in case someone ever finds us although I doubt it. The rumble is so loud now we cannot bear it, and several men are vomiting from the overwhelming sensation. H. is lying on the ground, curled up with his hands covering his ears, snow soaking his clothes. I shall join him and wait until we can stand up, or wait forever. _

**Author's Note:**

> come say his on [tumblr](http://ellstra.tumblr.com)


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